Resources for Parents of LGBTQ+ Youth

Many parents of LGBTQ+ children feel worried, out of their depth, and afraid of saying the wrong thing while still wanting to protect their child and keep a close bond. That mix of love and fear can feel heavy. Here are five carefully chosen places to start, based on what real families say has helped them most:

Our top expert-picked resources for parents of LGBTQ+ youth

These recommendations are selected to support you with clear guidance, real stories from families, and practical steps you can use at home and in school meetings.

Why support for parents of LGBTQ+ youth matters so much

When a young person comes out, the whole family shifts a little. Some parents feel deep pride right away. Others feel shock, grief, confusion, or panic. Many feel all of that at once and then feel guilty for having mixed feelings.

Here is what tends to matter most for a young person: not whether a parent is perfect, but whether the parent is trying, listening, and willing to learn.

What protects LGBTQ+ youth most is not a clever speech or perfect terminology. It is steady, visible support in everyday life.

Support is not just about emotions, either. It links directly to safety. Young LGBTQ+ people who feel strongly supported at home face far lower risks of self harm, bullying impact, and isolation than those who face rejection or silence. That is a hard truth, but also a hopeful one. Parents really do make a difference.

This is where good resources step in. Books, websites, helplines, and training sessions can give language, structure, and ideas when a parent is unsure what to say next. The challenge is that many “resources” online are shallow, outdated, or judgmental. Some even push harmful ideas that suggest a child can or should change who they are.

So a careful guide can help you sort through what is genuinely helpful, what to avoid, and how to match resources with your own child’s needs.

Types of resources for parents of LGBTQ+ youth

Not every family needs the same kind of help. Some want private reading. Some prefer support groups. Others look for direct services for their child and guidance for themselves in the background.

Books and guides for quiet learning

Books remain one of the most useful tools for parents. You can read at your own pace, pause, re read, mark pages, and come back later. A good book can feel like having a calm, experienced friend on the sofa with you.

Helpful LGBTQ+ parenting guides usually share some common traits:

• Clear explanations of sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression

• Real stories or case examples from families, not only theory

• Sections that address different ages, from childhood through later teenage years

• Practical scripts or sample phrases for tricky conversations

• Chapters on dealing with school, faith communities, and wider family

• Resources at the back, such as helplines, websites, and worksheets

When checking a book, look at how it talks about LGBTQ+ identities. Respectful, non pathologising language is a good sign that the rest of the advice will be safer.

Books that focus on “fixing” or “changing” an LGBTQ+ identity are not only unhelpful but can be dangerous for a young person’s mental health. A trustworthy resource will focus on understanding, acceptance, and support.

Websites, online hubs, and helplines

Many parents begin with a quick search and then feel overwhelmed by the amount of information and the mix of opinions. Some sites are well researched, others are personal blogs, and a few are actively hostile to LGBTQ+ people.

Good online resources usually:

• Reference reputable health or child protection bodies

• Offer clear contact details and an “about” page that states who runs the site

• Provide up to date information rather than old statistics and language

• Signpost to emergency support if a young person is in crisis

Websites cannot replace professional help when it is needed, but they can fill a big gap: that moment at home, late at night, when a parent is wondering what to say tomorrow morning or how to respond to a new disclosure.

Helplines can be another lifeline. A calm, informed person on the phone or on webchat can help a parent de escalate a situation, prepare for a difficult talk, or find local services.

Support groups and peer communities for parents

Having another parent say “we went through that as well” can take a weight off someone’s shoulders in a way no fact sheet can. Parent support groups for LGBTQ+ youth give space to ask awkward questions, share fears, and learn what has actually worked for other families.

These groups can be:

• Local in person meet ups, often hosted by charities, faith groups, or community centres

• Online video groups for those in rural areas or who feel safer at a distance

• Private social media communities with clear rules and moderation

Good groups usually have guidelines that protect both privacy and respect. They will not allow people to shame their children, argue about who is “really” LGBTQ+, or spread misinformation about mental health and medical care.

Professional services and training

Sometimes a family needs more structured help: counselling, family therapy, or specialist advice around school, self harm, or bullying. For professionals who work with children, training on LGBTQ+ issues can also make a big difference to how they support families and spot risk.

Parents can look for:

• Counsellors or therapists who have clear experience with LGBTQ+ youth and their families

• Workshops or courses aimed at parents who are new to LGBTQ+ topics

• School staff who have done training on LGBTQ+ inclusion and safeguarding

If a professional reacts with surprise or discomfort when your child shares their identity, it is reasonable to ask about their training and whether someone with more experience is available.

What makes a resource for parents of LGBTQ+ youth genuinely good?

Not all resources are equal. Some are kind but outdated. Some are current but rushed. Some look friendly but hide harmful messages under the surface. So it helps to have a basic checklist in mind.

Clarity and accuracy

A good resource explains terms like lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, non binary, queer, and questioning in plain language. It admits that not everyone uses these terms the same way, but it does not make things more confusing than they need to be.

It should also:

• Stay grounded in current research about LGBTQ+ youth and mental health

• Avoid scare tactics or exaggerated promises

• Distinguish between opinion and evidence, especially on medical topics

Respect and affirming language

Careful, respectful language is not about fashion or “political correctness.” It signals whether the author or organisation sees LGBTQ+ young people as worthy of basic dignity.

Look for:

• Use of a child’s chosen name and pronouns in examples

• Descriptions of LGBTQ+ identities as part of human diversity, not as problems

• A focus on safety, consent, and wellbeing rather than shame

When a resource talks about “tolerating” or “accepting” LGBTQ+ people but then supports practices aimed at changing them, that is a red flag. Some content sounds kind on the surface while undermining a young person’s identity underneath.

Practical, real world advice

Parents rarely need long theory alone. They need to know what to do when their child refuses school, is bullied, or argues with a sibling about pronouns at breakfast. Strong resources include specific actions.

For example, guidance like:

• How to respond when a child first comes out

• How to correct a grandparent gently when they use the wrong name

• What to ask at a school meeting about anti bullying policies

• Ways to handle disagreements between parents about how to respond

Diversity of experiences

LGBTQ+ communities are not one group. Race, religion, disability, culture, and income all change how a young person experiences their identity.

Quality resources try to reflect that. They might include stories from:

• Families of different faiths grappling with religious texts and community reactions

• Parents who share custody across households with different views

• Children from migrant families dealing with cultural pressures

• Young people who are autistic or have learning differences, whose communication about identity may look different

Accessibility and tone

Even the best content will fail if it feels like reading a technical manual. The tone should be caring but honest, not sugar coating serious risks, but not using panic or guilt to keep attention.

Parents often respond well to resources that:

• Are written in everyday language

• Acknowledge how hard this can feel for parents

• Encourage progress over perfection

What to watch out for and avoid

Some materials on LGBTQ+ topics can actively harm young people, even when they claim to be “helpful” or “balanced.”

Content that suggests changing or suppressing identity

Any resource that supports “change” or “recovery” from being LGBTQ+ should be avoided. Approaches that aim to change orientation or gender identity are widely criticised by health and safeguarding organisations because they are linked to distress, shame, and higher risk of self harm.

Warning signs include:

• Talk of “healing” or “overcoming” same sex attraction

• Stories where a young person “stops being” LGBTQ+ after enough prayer or counselling

• Advice to restrict a child’s contact with LGBTQ+ friends or media to “protect” them

Rigid gender stereotypes

Some resources argue that if parents enforce stricter gender roles, a child will “grow out of” being LGBTQ+. This can damage a young person’s sense of self and make it harder for them to trust adults with future struggles.

For example, messages like:

• “Boys in this family do not wear that.”

• “Girls do not play those games.”

• “You cannot be that if you still dress like this.”

Healthy guidance lets children explore interests, clothing, and expression safely, while keeping clear boundaries around respect and consent.

Resources that ignore safeguarding

Some guides talk about identity but say little about practical safety. A child who is LGBTQ+ can be more exposed to bullying, harassment, and online grooming. Parents need clear information on these risks, not just general parenting advice.

An LGBTQ+ youth resource that never mentions bullying, mental health, or abuse is probably incomplete at best.

Comparing common resource types: quick guide

This table can help you think about what might fit your situation right now. Many families use a mix.

Resource type	Strengths	Limitations	Best for
Books & printed guides	Structured, can reread, good for learning basics	Can go out of date, no real time support	Parents who prefer private, steady learning
Websites & online hubs	Quick access, often free, easy to share	Quality varies; risk of misinformation	Checking terms, getting overviews, finding contacts
Parent support groups	Peer support, real stories, reduced isolation	May be hard to access locally; group dynamics vary	Parents seeking connection and reassurance
Helplines / chats	Immediate human contact, tailored support	Time limited; may have waiting times	Moments of crisis or big new disclosure
Professional counselling	Depth, personal focus, help with complex issues	Cost and access; quality differs by provider	Ongoing conflict, mental health concerns, family breakdown

How to choose the right resources for your family

Choosing support is a bit like choosing a school or a doctor. You are allowed to ask questions, change your mind, and try more than one option.

Start from your child’s needs and voice

Before picking any resource, ask: what is my child actually saying they need right now? Some young people want their parents to read up quietly and not involve them much. Others want to explore resources together.

Some questions you could gently ask your child:

• “Would you like me to read more about this on my own, or are you happy to share things with me?”

• “Are there any websites or videos you already trust that you want me to see?”

• “Is there something you are most worried about that you want help with first?”

Listening first can prevent a common mistake: pouring energy into the wrong area. For example, spending weeks reading about terminology while your child mainly wants help dealing with bullying on the bus.

Check who created the resource

Look at the organisation or author behind a resource. Ask yourself:

• Do they have clear experience with LGBTQ+ youth?

• Are they transparent about their values, funding, and partnerships?

• Do they link to recognised child protection or health bodies?

If the content is anonymous, or if the “about” page is vague or hidden, be careful. Honest, reputable providers do not hide who they are.

Test with small steps

There is no need to commit fully to a resource right away. You can start small.

• Read a sample chapter before buying a book

• Attend one meeting of a group and see how it feels

• Have one session with a counsellor and then decide whether to continue

After each small step, ask yourself whether you feel more informed, calmer, and more able to support your child. If you feel confused, judged, or pressured, that is useful feedback.

Buyer style guide: what to look for when choosing LGBTQ+ parenting books and tools

When looking at parenting books, workbooks, or other tools aimed at helping parents support an LGBTQ+ child, it can help to keep a short buyer style checklist in mind.

Key qualities of a strong LGBTQ+ parenting resource

• Evidence aware: Draws on current research and clinical experience instead of anecdotes alone.

• Practical exercises: Includes reflection questions, conversation starters, or action steps.

• Age aware: Distinguishes between needs of younger children and older teens.

• Intersectional: Acknowledges differences in culture, race, faith, and disability.

• Emotionally honest: Gives space for parent emotions without centering parent discomfort over child safety.

• Clear boundaries: Strong on consent, safeguarding, and privacy.

When you skim a table of contents or sample pages, see if you can find these themes. If a book spends pages on theory but gives almost no “what to say” or “how to respond” ideas, you might struggle to apply it when things are tense at home.

Common weak spots in poorer resources

Some products are marketed well but fall short in daily life. Watch for:

• Overly simple “one size fits all” advice

• No recognition that some families face real conflict or danger after a child comes out

• Heavy focus on “debates” about identity rather than support for the child in front of you

• Very gendered language that ignores non binary or questioning youth

• Out of date terms that LGBTQ+ people no longer use for themselves

Support at home: how to use these resources in everyday life

Even the best book or course will not change things alone. What matters is how parents use that knowledge in small, consistent ways at home.

Everyday signals of acceptance

Here are small but powerful ways to put what you learn into practice:

• Use your child’s chosen name and pronouns, even when they are not in the room.

• Correct people gently when they get it wrong, especially close family.

• Keep some LGBTQ+ inclusive books or media visible in the home.

• Ask your child what support they want around school, clubs, or faith settings.

• Mark important days for them, such as a coming out anniversary, in quiet, meaningful ways if they are comfortable.

These actions say “you belong here” more clearly than any one big talk.

Handling mistakes and conflict

Parents worry a lot about getting it wrong. Mistakes will happen. What matters is how you repair them.

A simple framework can help:

• Notice the mistake, such as using an old name.

• Apologise briefly: “Sorry, I meant [chosen name].”

• Move on without making your child comfort you.

Resources that model short apology scripts or repair conversations can be very useful here. Long, emotional apologies where a parent becomes very upset can leave a child feeling they must take care of the parent, when the roles should be the other way around.

Balancing support for your child and care for yourself

Supporting an LGBTQ+ child can be emotionally heavy, especially if parents are facing pressure from extended family, religious communities, or their own inner beliefs.

Strong resources do not only say “support your child more.” They also help parents manage their own stress so they can show up fully.

This might look like:

• Joining a parent group where you can express fear or confusion without burdening your child

• Reading or attending a course with a partner to stay on the same page

• Setting boundaries with relatives who refuse to respect your child

• Accessing therapy for yourself if old wounds or beliefs are stirred up

A calm, supported parent is usually a more effective advocate. Self care in this context is not self indulgent, it is part of protection.

Pros and cons of different resources for parents of LGBTQ+ youth

Each type of resource brings strengths and drawbacks. It can help to see them side by side.

Main advantages

• Books and guides offer structured learning and can be shared with partners or relatives.

• Websites are easy to access and can respond faster to new research and language.

• Support groups reduce isolation and give real life examples of what has helped other families.

• Helplines provide immediate, human support during crises or new disclosures.

• Professional counselling can untangle deep conflict, trauma, or mental health concerns.

• Workshops and training sessions give structured learning, space for questions, and sometimes certification for professionals.

• Workbooks and activity tools can guide conversations and reflection for both parents and young people.

Main drawbacks

• Books can go out of date and may not address every specific cultural or family context.

• Websites vary widely in quality and can spread harmful myths if not carefully checked.

• Support groups may feel intimidating at first and can sometimes reflect a narrow range of experiences.

• Helplines can have waiting times, and the support is short term.

• Counselling can be costly or hard to access, and not every practitioner is truly LGBTQ+ aware.

• Workshops may be one off, so keeping changes going at home takes extra effort.

• Activity based tools might feel too structured or “forced” for some teenagers.

• Any resource can cause tension if one parent is keen and another feels defensive or resistant.

Frequently asked questions about resources for parents of LGBTQ+ youth

How can parents of LGBTQ+ youth know which resources are trustworthy?

Look for clear authorship, connection to recognised health or child protection bodies, and respectful language about LGBTQ+ identities. Reliable resources make safety, consent, and wellbeing central. They do not call for “fixing” or “changing” a young person’s orientation or gender identity and they offer practical steps, not just opinion.

What is the first resource parents of LGBTQ+ youth should start with?

Many parents find it useful to begin with one well reviewed introductory guide that explains key terms, covers common parent reactions, and offers basic conversation scripts. Alongside that, a reputable website or helpline for quick questions can help. Starting small but steady is usually more helpful than trying to read everything at once.

How can parents of LGBTQ+ youth get support if their community is not accepting?

If local settings feel unsafe or hostile, online options become more valuable. Look for national or regional organisations that provide online parent groups, webinars, or helplines. Counselling by video and moderated online communities can also help. Parents might also choose a small circle of trusted friends rather than relying on wider family or faith communities at first.

Do parents of LGBTQ+ youth need special training to keep their child safe?

Formal training is not required, but targeted learning can help. Resources that explain specific risks for LGBTQ+ youth, such as certain types of bullying, self harm, or online grooming, can guide parents on warning signs and response. Workshops or online courses that focus on both identity and safeguarding can build confidence.

How can parents of LGBTQ+ youth involve schools in supporting their child?

Resources that include templates or checklists for school meetings can be very useful. Parents can ask schools about anti bullying policies, staff training on LGBTQ+ topics, confidentiality around names and pronouns, and facilities such as toilets and changing areas. Clear, respectful communication with the school, backed by good information, often leads to better outcomes.

What if parents of LGBTQ+ youth feel they have reacted badly in the past?

Many resources include sections on repair, apology, and rebuilding trust. Parents can acknowledge past reactions without making the child care for their guilt. Short, sincere apologies, followed by visible change, can slowly restore safety. Books and counsellors who understand these dynamics can give language and strategies for this kind of repair.

How can parents of LGBTQ+ youth deal with disagreement between co parents?

Some guides and therapists focus on helping co parents or blended families find shared ground. It can help to frame conversations around the child’s safety and wellbeing rather than moral debates. Joint sessions with an experienced professional, or reading material together and discussing it, can move things forward, though progress may be slow.

Are online communities safe resources for parents of LGBTQ+ youth?

Online groups can be very supportive, but quality varies. Parents should look for clear rules, active moderation, and a focus on respect for young people. Groups that allow hate speech, mockery, or pressure to follow one narrow path are best avoided. Parents should also be careful about sharing identifying details about their child.

One last question parents of LGBTQ+ youth often ask

What if parents of LGBTQ+ youth still feel unsure, even after using several resources?

Uncertainty is normal. Supporting an LGBTQ+ child is not about reaching some final point of perfect understanding. It is about staying open, learning bit by bit, and showing through actions that your child is loved, believed, and worth standing up for. If you keep those three priorities in sight, then every book, group, and conversation becomes one more step in the right direction, even if the path does not feel straight.